I was at a friend’s birthday party the other day and he told me he enjoyed my Instagram posts although he didn’t want to be calm. He wasn’t sure it was good for him. Fair statement. The density of clients with anxiety that I treat keeps me focused on tools that calm them, and my friend doesn’t have anxiety issues. I told him my posts were not to make him calm, but give him a glimpse of what lies beyond calm!
So what states of being are beyond calm? I came up with a few, all of which I have experienced. I intentionally do not talk about my past very much, because I think that it creates drag in my life, but just to give you some contrast for how I have experienced all of these things below, I used to have long-standing suicide ideation, chest pain due to stress, think that I was “good” only when I was a doormat for everyone else, and all sorts of other stuff. I have struggled and I don’t struggle anymore. At least not very often. I fully believe that life is supposed to be overwhelmingly full of the moments below. I look for the path of least resistance when I am in spiritual alignment. I know what that feels like well enough now, that I can get there easily, and I stay there more and more consistently. These are five states of being that I know are beyond calm!
- Joy – I have a friend with a past that would make you shudder. It is full of gun violence, incest, gang rape, and drug and alcohol abuse. Much of it happened when she was a minor. Now, she is thriving, both personally and professionally, and so high on life that people sometimes ask her what is wrong with her because “no one should be THAT happy.” A few weeks ago I felt an overwhelming urge to buy a lottery ticket. I have done this a few times recently, playing with my manifesting skills. Once in my hot little hands, I meditated with it. I strove to FEEL what it is like to have overwhelming abundance., to feel like I had all of those millions of dollars, and more. Then, something bizarre happened. I started laughing uncontrollably – not like anything was funny or ridiculous, but like unbridled joy! I started having moments of wanting to skip and sing. All of these things are atypical of my normal, serious nature. The best part is that I sustained these benefits. I did win the lottery that day.
- No Boundaries Needed – Patients with headaches are among my favorite to treat. When I was a student and new graduate, (20+ years ago) those that I treated felt AMAZING afterwards because I took their headache from them! I had no foundation for understanding this at the time, and I would literally shake it or brush it off, which worked. I don’t remember holding on to the headaches long. This phenomenon led to me to be mindful of boundaries – where I end and where someone else began, while I was touching them for manual therapy techniques. In the process of creating boundaries, I also separated myself in ways that were not beneficial. My work often drained me. I used to try to “let it go” but that usually just made me want to reach down and pick it up again. I came to realize that when I expand my spirit to be full of myself, in the best possible way, I am surrounded my miracles. Personally, I do this by imagining that I am a queen. I am the only person who can take off my crown. I get to wear a big royal cape, and take up a lot of space. I always have to dance with other people’s energies, but I don’t have to take them on, or shrink to them. In this mode, I am nonstick.
- The Zone – Athletes that perform exceptionally are known to describe their state of being as “in the zone.” One of my challenges with meditation is the yo-yo effect. Meditation is taught usually as a state separate from “normal.” My Heartmath training showed me that one can achieve a meditative state at any activity level. I strive to live “in the zone.” Sometimes I am deeper in it than others, but I rarely yo-yo out of it anymore. It feels so good to be in it, I choose activities and thoughts that keep me here. Once in awhile I choose something outside of the zone, and learn how much I love it here!
- Clarity – I love “a-ha” moments. I have had a ton of them as I have done a myriad of self-care approaches, from talk therapy to Reiki. I have had realizations that my right hip hurts when I let someone else determine my self-worth, my low back hurts when I try to be a circus contortionist with my own feelings, trying to make them fit into someone else’s box. My feet hurt when I am walking toward something that doesn’t serve my highest and greatest good. I know that I love hanging out with other intuitive people, and don’t seek close friendships from people that are not in touch with this aspect of themselves. I now know that I always drank a lot at social events when my husband was in the Navy because they don’t feel good to me. Beyond calm, clarity abounds!
- Creative genius – This has some overlap with The Zone, but I think creative genius is worth discussing separately. While genius ideas come fluidly while “in the zone,” it is possible to block the “downloads” of genius ideas. Receptivity is key, which for me, is a combination of asking questions and stepping back to let things flow. The business name Beyond Calm came to me in a hypnosis session. When I checked if the .com domain was available, it was! I was amazed, if not surprised, because I know it was a divine alignment that led me to it. I have had many other moments of this when treating clients. It is one of the reasons that I stay as busy as I do.
What lies beyond calm for you?