Six Keys to Transforming Hate

Through Finding Your Internal Freedom

This blog post is going to be more than 500 words. I hope you will take the time to read it through to the end.

I want you to consider a different way to transform the vitriol that is getting spewed on a big stage world-wide. If you are someone who sides with the white supremacists, please continue reading. If you are feeling hopeless and powerless, this is for you, too.

Yesterday’s events in Charlottesville hit close to home, though such events happen in other places more days than we know. I am a graduate of the University of Virginia. Charlottesville represents the beginning of my journey to freedom and opportunity. It has been tough to look at the pictures of a space I love in the context of the hatred that was demonstrated there.

Larry Sabato, a well-known professor and political commenter in the media, tweeted that The Lawn, the central space of UVA’s grounds, needed an exorcism. I would be happy to clear all the hateful juju from The Lawn, a space so many hold sacred.

Some of you are probably now thinking about how I am a whiny white woman, about how much freedom I do have as an American woman compared to many other places in the world, and how I “should be grateful.” Why am I complaining about my freedom?

Externally, it’s easy to write the story that I have had a lot of freedom in my life. If you live in the United States, you can probably write that kind of story, too. I supported my husband through his 20-year military career, with an ideal of supporting external freedom for all of us. The thing I have learned, though, is that true freedom isn’t external. External freedom might make internal freedom a little easier to find, but not always.

Internally, I have spent most of my life held prisoner. I was shackled by shame, locked in by other people’s expectations, holding a gun to my own heart. Blowing up my heart seemed the only way out, and I fantasized about it every day for a few decades. I never sought help, but the universe brought it to me. I had the key all along. It took a lawsuit to get me to reach into my pocket and take it out. I did blow up my heart, though in a very different way than I expected.

A few years ago, I was named in a professional lawsuit. This is every medical professional’s nightmare. It validated my shame and my self-destructive thoughts. There are some gory details in those first days and months after I got the notice. I can tell you how I brought that event to myself, how I healed, and how my inner healing made it go away. It was all about finding my internal freedom.

Why is this relevant to Charlottesville? Because the white supremacist protestors are possibly the ones most lacking in their internal freedom. They can’t connect with any kind of empathy or compassion because they are so bound up on the inside, and all most people can see is the outside.

For myself, during the lawsuit, I had to let go of the desire or need to control the other parties involved. I could only change myself. In doing so, I came to a place of true compassion for everyone involved, and eventually got a call that the lawsuit against me was dropped. I believe wholeheartedly that my journey inward to find my internal freedom and discover compassion for everyone involved, especially for myself and for the person who brought the lawsuit was what brought it to be dropped.

When I read the chant of the protestors “You will not replace us,” I immediately thought of Barack Obama’s campaign tag line, “Yes We Can.” While I do not believe it is practical, legal, or wise to replace these people, I do think we can transform them and that begins with transforming ourselves.

Can you imagine having that much power? Here are some keys to finding that power.

1 Comparing hardships doesn’t serve anyone. When you’re in it, hard is just hard. And who wants to win that contest anyhow? This applies to yourself. When people want to compare hardships, I often point them in the direction of reading Left to Tell by Immaculeé Iligibiza, who survived the Rwandan genocide and found compassion for her oppressors, and Viktor Frankl, an Austrian neurologist and psychiatrist who survived Nazi concentration camp and is best known for discovering that finding meaning in all aspects of life, even your traumas, is the key to healing. If you like to think in a linear, hierarchical model, outdoing their hardships is hard, and they found healing. They found internal freedom. You can, too.

These protestors in Charlottesville can only see their own hardships. How can we open our eyes to see their point of view?

2 Feel your feelings, but know that some of them are not yours, so be discerning in acting upon them. Research has shown that we inherit the traumas of our ancestors. Your DNA is tagged with it, but I will tell you that it is fully changeable. I have done it every day for years with clients. I have purged my dad’s rage and my mother’s grief from my own body. Doing so solved a bunch of seemingly orthopedic pain issues.

These protesters in Charlottesville are carrying a lot of emotions that are not even theirs. How can we help unload their backpack? These white men can’t dance because they are so bound up in their bodies. All of us are of pagan descent, and those traditional rituals that dissipated trauma and stress through movement and vocalization were made illegal and punishable by death, until they were mostly forgotten over the last two thousand years. I am a huge fan of Conscious Connected Breathing and Holotropic Breathing as adjuncts to my own techniques to clear out the millennia of trauma that we all have.

The traditional shamanic perspective is that as you heal yourself, you heal seven generations back and seven generations forward. Do not underestimate how powerful healing yourself is on changing the world. I think it goes well beyond 7 generations in each direction, and it radiates out into your home, your communities, your country, and the world to affect the present.

3 Become the Spin Master – Share your story and tell it in a way that adds meaning to your life. Be willing to leave pages open when you can’t do that yet. A big part of this, for me, is having a spiritual perspective. I see myself as part of a large, connected universe. My DNA is a helix, a left-hand twist, the earth rotates to the left, and the solar system spins leftward in a helical pattern. Aligning yourself with this spin is as key as spinning your story. People that have very rigid belief systems will have a hard time with adjusting their spin, and that factors in to how much healing they can achieve. Stay open-minded. I needed that lawsuit for all my shame to surface so it could clear out, and so I could stand more fully in my own truth. It was a catalyst for me to reimagine myself outside of the scope of physical therapy, and I am so much happier and my life has much more meaning for doing so.

The protests in Charlottesville are bringing the hate to the surface so it can be cleared out. Are they showing us our hate? Are we using hate in the same way, even if it’s in a different direction?

4 Become the Metaphor MasterYour story may not be “real” but it will be an accurate metaphor for what was happening. In working on myself, the craziest story I have is about how one of my intuitive life coaches sensed that, at a soul level, I was tricked into this incarnation, this time with my parents, with whom I have always had a difficult relationship. That night, I had a very real flare up of a cyst on right arm that I have had for as long as I can remember. I have always thought it was strange because it is in the same place as my mother’s smallpox vaccine scar. The cyst never gave me problems until after that session with my life coach. It became hot, red, and infected. I went to the doctor to get it lanced and left with the prescription for antibiotics because I was serious about avoiding the path to amputation of my arm. It was that bad. Getting the prescription filled was a bizarre obstacle, and I ended up treating it with raw garlic compresses, which worked beautifully. The story I tell about that cyst now is that it was an implant where vampire-like people sucked the love out of me to fill themselves. I know it’s the craziest story, I don’t believe in coincidence, and I won’t apologize for this story in any way. This is my truth, in metaphor, or maybe literally it is my truth. It doesn’t matter because the literal, 3-dimensional changes in my life since this happened have been so profound. No story is too crazy for you to write around your healing.

Those protestors from Charlottesville have lots of implants and vampires in their lives. They have been programmed by occult forces. They don’t remember their true natures. Maybe you are “less” traumatized than them in this way. (I don’t like to make anything hierarchical, and that could be another long post of its own. This is just for clarification.)

5 Broaden your definition of family. Many of us have dysfunctional friends and families, and many of us stay in toxic relationships much longer than is wise. Many people accept that friends come into your life for seasons, and then leave, but with family we often stay in the spiritual contracts long past their expiration. You don’t have to go shunning your biological family. You can start by looking for the open doors. I was asked to attend a training with the Center for Mind Body Medicine not long after the notice of the lawsuit came to me. It was one of the most amazing things that ever happened to me, personally and professionally, and I acquired a “twin brother from another mother” out of it. At least for a season.

The protestors in Charlottesville can’t see the open doors. Can we show them, or are we holding the doors shut? Why can’t we open the door?

6 Own it, even if only vibrationally. Part of finding meaning in your trauma is swallowing the bitter pill of how you brought it to yourself. Some people call this law of attraction. Pam Grout uses the physics term Field of Potentiality. We either happily take credit for the good things that happen to us, or we give that power away to another entity, like God. We don’t do anything like that when bad things happen. I like to see that God created a vibrational universe, and we need to learn how to use it. This is ancient wisdom that we have lost in the last few thousand years, and is gradually being re-discovered. Learn from your errors. Find meaning in them. Take at least a hair of responsibility for creating your trauma, because in that lies your power to create your healing.

In taking responsibility for bringing the lawsuit to myself, I was also able to shift my vibration to the point that it spun out of my field. Abraham Hicks equates this to a playground merry-go-round. If you are spinning fast enough, the bad stuff can’t jump on.

The protestors in Charlottesville are addicted to being right and having a high off it. They are vibrating at a frequency of hate, and attracting more hate. If we are also addicted to being right, and if we also hate them, are keeping them there? They way out of addiction to being right is finding that something else is always true. How many other truths can you list?

I hope that this gives you some inspiration to look inward and find your own power. Act from your space of internal freedom and the world will change in an instant.

What has this incident brought up for you? How can you change your own vibration to transform the hate?




About me: After spending years being in deep communication with people’s physical bodies regarding their pain, injury, and disease, I realized that the idea that you need to be healed is an illusion. You are a pool of untapped potential. Your disease, failure, confusion, anxiety, despair, and emptiness is because you hold on to external expectations and limiting beliefs while forgetting to speak the language in which you are most fluent: The common language of the universe, of science, of wisdom, of oneness, and of the soul. I am here to teach you this language honestly and succinctly, so you can perceive and access your own power to be confident and clear in navigating out of failure into success, out of disease into health, out of confusion into clarity, out of despair into happiness, and out of the ordinary into genius. 
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