Overcoming My Addiction To Being Right

15037084_1348990038466943_8913812106084647347_n

“It seems that it will definitely reveal the faulty systems and people running them so they can crumble and be healed. And it is just what we need to fully step into our power and take our place. We are ready. We can now handle the fall of the patriarchy and all that it brings. I feel that is just what is going to be happening over the next 4 years or so and I don’t think it could have fully happened with Hillary in office . Trump will reveal it in a way she never could. All is in perfect order.” – One Wise Woman I Know

I have hardly been able to stop crying. Electing Hillary Clinton seemed to be the right thing to do for human rights, for the environment, for women’s health, for unity, community, and world peace. I feel split open. Raw. Betrayed by my sisterhood, that I have only recently come to like in any way, shape, or form. As someone with formal training in mind-body medicine, an evidence-based trained physical therapist, someone with psychic medium skills, and a deep multidimensional, multi-spiritual connection across Scientific, Atheist, Jungian, Pagan, Buddhist, Hindu, and Christian paradigms, I know that the surface situation is not the issue. My attachment to a particular reality, my resistance to letting go, my avoidance of feeling my feelings, and limiting my sight from other points of view are the issue.

What could I say?  What else is true?

  1. I could say today’s astrological chart has Uranus, who is associated with earthquakes, at almost exactly 180 degrees to Uranus in my birth chart. I take that as a good reason for being split open.
  2. I could say that having the mirror of myself kept out of the White House by white women is a good reason to feel betrayed.
  3. I could say that my patriarchy, my religion, my parents, and my country have all lied to me, which they have.
  4. I could say that the lies above are wired into me through epigenetics, which they are.
  5. I could say that the women I know that voted for Trump all have histories of domestic abuse, low self-esteem, external identities and deep insecurities, which is my casual observation.
  6. I could say that I have never felt home in the U.S. and have always been looking for an excuse to leave, which is true.
  7. I could say that when I was young, I voted for my paycheck over my conscience, which I did. I betrayed my sisterhood when I didn’t know it was there, when I didn’t know I was powerful, when I thought I was worthless within.
  8. I could say that I have found comfort in reading and writing prayers, spells, and mantras, which I have.

The things I could say, however, don’t give me full responsibility and power to change. What will I say?

  1. I will say that I am now brilliant at creating a supportive reality, based on the 80% of New Orleanians that voted for Hillary Clinton.
  2. I will say that I have amazing friends. No explanation needed.
  3. I will say that I know I can only change myself and know you will get caught up in my joy while I do so.
  4. I will say that being split open is a gift, allowing me to feel feelings that I have suppressed, repressed, and depressed.
  5. I will say that I stand strong in my mission to change the paradigm of love in the world
  6. I will say that today I am more fully my true self than I was yesterday.
  7. I will say that I feel as if I have lost 5-10 pounds this week, and I think it has been in shedding thoughts and emotions that I have stifled.
  8. I will say that I feel brave, in a way that I have hidden and kept unknown to myself and others.

Perhaps Hillary’s loss has actually strengthened me and the Divine Feminine more than a win. It is all flowing now, and I see that is a gift. It did not arrive in the way I wanted it. I know I can only structure, at most, the Who, What, When, and Where – and let the universe bring me the How.

What else is true for you?